For anyone who has known me for an extended period of time, I used to be a very sensitive soul. I desperately wanted to please people and I would change my opinion quickly in order to be liked. And while that girl isn’t completely gone, I’ve realized that over the past year, I’ve become much more confident… and less willing to deal with crap.
“How do you live with yourself after getting broken once again?” a tumblr poet asks.
Answer – you don’t. you pick up the shattered glass of the version of you that was too weak, throw away every single piece you don’t need and create a new one. you reinvent yourself, build it up from dust and bones, glue it all together with hope, and stand up taller. you forget all the lies and heartache, leave behind everyone who ever dared to lay a hand on you and start anew. you come back to life as someone who will know better, as someone who knows they deserve better and step lightly into the world again. ready or not, you gather your strength and go, for the new version of you has still so much to learn [sic].
I like this description because while it doesn’t describe my case 100%, it’s pretty true. Fall to Winter 2016, I was a different person than young Anna and Anna now. I tried to be a rebel from tradition while still scraping at the knees of everyone else – aka the new liberal people that had come into my life. After everything fell to pieces because I tried to please people too much, I drew into myself a lot. I was depressed. I hated myself. And while the me now would have slapped the me back then and told myself to grow up, I don’t think it was all for nothing. I had plenty of time to reflect and write about my thoughts and experiences. It made me realize that I needed to throw away most of the new “values” that had been pushed in my face – besides the new respect I had learned for struggling people. I also realized that while I wanted to embrace the values of my upbringing (and that, more than ever, Catholicism was the way to go), I needed to scrap that person who cared so much about what other people thought… who just did what everyone told her (or what she thought they were telling her to do).
So far, it’s been finding a happy medium of the two Annas last year – which brings us back to why I decided to call this blog post “The Truth About Haters.”
About a month before the U.S. presidential elections, I decided to actually read a bit about politics – and I realized that, unlike most of my peers, I actually really, really liked Donald Trump. After making this known on my book tumblr blog, I got a little bit of hate. (“Hate” – how I do dislike that word! Its meaning has been entirely lost by the SJWs and snowflakes who complain that everyone is “hating” on them.) I got at least one of those disgusting “go kill yourself” messages. Thankfully, I’m the type of person who finds these posts more amusing than anything – does the anonymous person really think I’m going to care what they think?? I believe I answered something along the lines of “Nah, not really feeling like that today.”
My boyfriend once told me that I was pretentious. I thought about it for a moment and then agreed. I know I’m pretentious. I don’t like stupidity and laziness and if you aren’t educated, I will most definitely look down at you. Is this a nice thing to do? Probably not. But like I told my prof last week in class when he said that Catholicism is supposed to be a religion of mercy, Jesus wasn’t exactly a merciful person all the time – remember the driving of the people buying and selling in the Temple? Yeah, that’s one of my favourite Bible stories. So if a person refuses to read into anything and pretends that they’re just as knowledgeable as you, and can still have an opinion, well, they’re dead wrong.
You know, the “haters” could have something of value to say once in a while. I will admit if I’m wrong and I didn’t properly check my facts (for example, which I did during a debate when over half a dozen pro-choicers started attacking me). If I’ve got a vice that the haters notice, they should feel more than free to tell me. I’ll be sure to look into it. 🙂
It’s the cowardice and spite that really makes my blood boil. If you have something to say, stop hiding behind the Anonymous name. Come forward and show yourself instead of putting up a pretence of false bravery. Also, don’t go around telling people that they’re stupid, they should kill themselves, and that they can have no opinion because they have a certain skin colour, sex, or (my personal favourite) they’re “too old.”
So to all the people with differing opinions out there – be nice, stand for your opinions with a brave face, and don’t be lazy. Fact-check yourself and don’t listen to whatever everyone else says.
Anna Elizabeth is currently feeling invigorated because she’s been standing up for herself more and more the last few weeks. She is also enjoying Amber Run and Imagine Dragon’s new music.